How to be a Comedian - Free Online Guide Book

I'm working on a comedy business book tentatively titled, "The Millionaire Comedian: Creating Your Own Success in Show Business." This isn't a book about how to write jokes or be funny. Rather, it is a guide to the different careers paths you can take as a comedian. Specifically, I hope to inspire you to take success into your own hands, and not wait for a big agent or a "break" to launch your career.

The articles below aren't sequential or even meant to read like a book. That will come later. In the meantime, bookmark this page and keep checking back. I'll fill link the articles as I write them:

Careers in Comedy:

• Corporate Comedy - Performing at Company Parties and Conventions
  • Guidelines for becoming a corporate entertainer
  • Ten Corporate Comedy Do's and Don'ts
• How to Become a Comedy Writer for Television
  • Case Study: Bryan Tucker at Saturday Night Live
• How to Become a Christian Comedian
• Breaking into the College Market
• Start your own Comedy blog
• Finding Cruise Ship Work
• Becoming a National Headliner at Comedy Clubs

Creating Your Promotional Materials:

• What You Need for a Comedian Press Kit
• Building a Comedian Web Site
  • Advanced: How to Build an XML Sitemap
  • Advanced: How to Submit Your XML Sitemap
• How to Record a Live Comedy Show

Booking Comedy Shows:

• Office equipment that will make your life easier
• Software that will make your life easier
• Performance Booking - Improving communication between client, artist, and agent
• Ten ways to impress a booking agent
• How to advance a performance

Promoting Your Act:

• How to Get Airplay on XM Satellite Radio
• Optimizing your web site for search engines
• Using Social Networking Sites to Build Your Fan Base
• Use Online Video to Promote Your Act

Selling Your Products Online:

• Are you using CDBaby.com?
• Shopping Cart Reviews: E-junkie.com
• Website verification seals

Resources:

• Comedy Books You Should Read
• Portable Sound System Reviews
• Stamps.com - Simplifies Shipping Press Kits and Packages
• Discount Postcard Printing by PrintingForLess.com

What do you want to know about? Write your requests for information in the comments section below.

How to Advance a Performance

Whenever an artist is booked for a performance, it is crucial to touch base with the client directly at least a week prior to the performance. This is called “advancing” the show. With your signed contract in hand, call (not email) the client to confirm the following:

• Dress
• Show content and special requests
• Directions, unloading, and parking details
• Technical rider, staging, and sound details
• Arrival time and performance time
• Hotel reservations
• Food/drink arrangements
• Final payment

Dress

My personal opinion on dress is that the performer should always be the best dressed person in the room. Unless you have an act like Larry the Cable Guy, there is no good reason to be wearing jeans when everyone else is in suits. Of course, you don’t want to overdress, either. Ask the client what the dress for the event will be, and then dress a little nicer.

Show Content and Special Requests

Make sure you and the client are on the same page about the kind of show you're offering. If they ask you to avoid certain subject matter or language, then go out of your way to accommodate them. If they want you to do unusual song requests or custom material that is outside the scope of your contract, feel free to politely push back or ask them to speak to your booking agent.

Directions, Unloading, and Parking

In case you don’t know it already, Google Maps isn’t always correct. Plot out your directions before you call then go over them with the client. Get some anecdotal landmarks like “turn left right past the Wal-Mart”. You’ll save yourself some stress later. Also be sure that you have a designated area nearby to load your equipment and park your car. Have the client mail or fax you a parking pass ahead of time if necessary.

Technical Rider, Staging, and Sound

Just because the client signed the contract doesn’t mean that they read it. And it’s very possible that they won’t be the on-site contact, and that the on-site contact will have never seen your rider. So if there’s something you absolutely need, make it abundantly clear.

Arrival and Performance Time

The arrival time on your contract should not be overlooked. Often times you will have to meet your client at a specified time to be escorted to your performance location. Don’t waste your time or theirs. Make sure you specify where, when, and who you will meet. Also, double-check the performance time. Plans often change dramatically from the time the contract was issued.

Hotel Reservations

Get a hotel confirmation number from the client. If you’re going to be checking in late, call the hotel directly to confirm your reservation. About 1 out of 5 times someone at the client organization makes the hotel reservation under their name. You won’t know this when you get to the hotel at 2 AM, and neither will the person working the front desk at the hotel. Guess what happens then? You don't get the room that has been reserved and paid for. Save yourself the hassle and call ahead!

Food and Drink Arrangements

If your rider calls for a meal, confirm ahead of time when and where it will be served. Never count on anything. Take your own bottled water and power bars just in case.

Final Payment

If your contract calls for you to be paid following the performance, make sure they will have the check cut and ready for you. This doesn’t have to be awkward. When you call, just casually ask “Will I pick up a check that night?”, and follow that with “And just to confirm, it will be made payable to _________.” Sometimes corporate events and government agencies cannot have your check that night, no matter what your contract says. Avoid any night-of-show confusion by asking ahead of time.

If you have any additional provisions in your contract, be sure to go over each and every one. Remember that it is your responsibility to call ahead and ensure a successful performance.

If you have additional tips, advice, or funny stories, please post them in the comments section below...

Comedian Booking Opportunities

Professional comedians have a variety of venues to perform in - probably more than you can imagine. I've outlined a few of the most prominent ones below. Each of these venues have their own markets, associations, magazines, trade shows, and opportunities. I will write a blog post for each market below with links to further resources. Be sure to bookmark this page and subscribe to my RSS feed for updates.

Comedy Clubs

Every comedian should start in a comedy club, no matter where you want your career to go. There's no more welcoming and nurturing place to hone your craft. (Don't laugh, the venues below can be much tougher.) When you tell people you're a comedian, they will always assume that you play comedy clubs, even if you haven't set foot in one in years. You can be a touring comedian, working clubs across the country, or set up shop in a major town (New York, LA, Chicago, etc) and perform in the showcase clubs. The competition for top spots is fierce, and the pay is generally dismal. But for starting out, it's absolutely the way to go.

Colleges

Some comedians make their entire living playing nothing but college shows. These are typically booked through the school's Student Activities Office. The two big college market organizations are NACA (National Association for Campus Activities) and APCA (Association for the Promotion of Campus Activities), but you can also book comedy shows on college campuses through Residence Hall Associations, Student Government Associations, and even Greek (fraternity and sorority) Associations. High energy acts work great, and you need to be clean and in touch with today's college students.

Corporate Events

There is big money for comedians in the corporate events market. If you can do a 100% clean, 45-60 minute, non-offensive show that appeals to all ages, you need to look into the corporate market. The key is the time. You should have the amount and quality of material equivalent to a comedy club headliner, and it needs to be squeaky clean. If you're just starting out at comedy clubs and you have aspirations of someday doing corporate comedy, start being clean from the beginning. It's a lot tougher, but the financial rewards can be great.

Cruise Ships

For many comedians, getting a steady gig as a cruise ship entertainer is the ultimate goal. There is the real possibility of working 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year on the high seas. You'll travel the World, live a life of leisure, and "work" an hour or two a day making people laugh. For those not willing to make such a time commitment (which can be killer if you have a spouse and children), there is the opportunity of working cruise ships sporadically a few times a year or working specialty comedy cruises. Since these are considered plum gigs, competition is tough.

Churches

If you are both a comedian and a Christian, you should strongly consider the Christian comedy market. These shows may be held at churches, fellowship halls, Christian conferences, or any Church-sponsored venue or event. A small percentage are actually held in the church sanctuary. There's even a multitude of Christian-owned companies who need Christian comedians for their corporate events and year-end parties. To really excel in the market, it helps to have a strong testimony and a deep understand of all of the different Christian denominations. Don't try to fake it, there will be a quiz.

Music Clubs

If you're hip enough and can sell tickets you may want to consider a tour of music venues. Today's "alternative" comics are bypassing the comedy clubs to perform in non-traditional venues. This has actually been going on forever, as Steve Martin outlines in his book "Born Standing Up." These venues can work well for established acts with strong followings, especially among the college-aged crowd. If you've got an act that works great on morning radio, that really helps in getting the crowd out to the clubs. Deals are usually a percentage of the door, and it's largely up to you to put butts in the seats.

Theaters

Once you've hit the big-time and are a proven draw, you can take your earning power to theaters. Nothing beats the rush of playing a packed house in a beautiful theater. If you're not well known, you can still get work as an opening act for headliners (comedy, variety, or even music acts). If you're super-creative, you can turn your stand-up comedy performance into a "one-person show". A good themed show can turn a nobody into a touring theater act very quickly.

Festivals

It seems like every town in America has their own Festival. From the enormous (Little Rock, AR Riverfest) to the obscure (Bethune, SC Chicken Strut), these seemingly never-ending events offer a variety of entertainment. There aren't a lot of comedians working this market, so the potential is there. Positioning is key. You should be high-energy, engaging, and unafraid. If you mix music into your act, or if you can serve as an all-day emcee, opportunities abound.

Fairs & Expos

Fairs are similar to festivals, except they often last longer and take place on designated fairgrounds. Many fairs will use comedians as opening acts for music groups or other national headliners. If you're creative, you can also find ways to book your show on the smaller stages for multi-day or even week-long runs. If your act includes hypnotism, juggling, magic, music, props, puppets, or other ways to attract attention - all the better.

Private Parties

Private parties may include weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, reunions, or bat mitzvahs. Often times a family member will hire a comedian to "roast" or poke fun at the guest(s) of honor. Other times, the comedian is simply there as a different form of entertainment. These shows can be the most unpredictable, as you never know what you're getting into. And the people throwing them aren't usually professional event planners. But if you have strong nerves, this can be a lucrative field to explore.

Other Venues

High schools... Rest homes... What have I left out? Leave your message in the comments section below and remember to check back for expanded listings on each of these markets.

How to Write for Saturday Night Live

If you've ever wondered what it takes to become a writer for Saturday Night Live, the April 30, 2008 cover story from Richmond, VA's Style Weekly has an excellent in-depth look. The article, Live from New York, chronicles the rise of Richmond-born writer and my long-time friend Bryan Tucker, and includes insightful behind-the-scenes commentary from the recent Ashton Kutcher show. Here are a few choice excerpts as it relates to comedy writing:

Since moving to New York in 1997, Tucker, 36, has gone from unknown stand-up comic to a hardworking comedy writer. He’s worked for such shows as “Late Show With David Letterman,” “The Chris Rock Show,” “Mad TV” and “Chappelle’s Show,” where he solidified his reputation as the white chocolate of comedy...

For Tucker, a joke can start as anything: a news story, something he observes or something he hears in passing. There are no hard rules. “One thing I’ve learned after doing this a few years: inspired ideas only come once in a while,” Tucker says. “The more professional you are, the more you learn to write something funny whether you have a great idea or not. You just do it so often you can make something serviceable out of things that are assigned to you.”

Usually, he’ll have an idea and run it by another writer or cast member. If that person likes the idea, they will try to write it together, sitting in a room and wracking their brains to come up with jokes or “beats” in a sketch. “Sometimes we come up with the script as we go, but that’s usually harder because you tend to second-guess every line as it goes. It’s better to figure out what it’s going to be, then have one person turn it into a script,” he says. He adds that he can always tell if a sketch is going to be successful if the camera guys are laughing during dress rehearsal. None are right now.

Sudeikis steps away and a hush falls over a small crowd of producers and stage managers. A woman yells “Quiet!” while Sudeikis walks onto a nearby set made to look like the deck of a cruise ship, joining Forte, Wiig and Kutcher. They’re working on one of several sketches that will be cut from the show, but nobody knows that yet. Losing your baby is a normal thing at “SNL,” a feeling all writers get used to: working madly on something all week only to see it disappear without a trace.

Even if a sketch makes it through to Saturday night, however, writers may have to significantly change things during the show. Once, while writing a show’s closing sketch, “Wine Lovers,” for host Antonio Banderas, Tucker had three minutes to take the four-and-a-half minute sketch, cut it to two and a half minutes, and make sure everyone understood the changes: the director, the actors, the cue-card holders...

If you have any interest in pursuing a career in comedy writing, this article is a must-read. It painstakingly details Bryan's beginnings from high school, though college, through touring with Selected Hilarity, temping, hitting open mics in New York, and every step in between. Plus, as an added bonus, it includes lots of quotes from me.

Read the article...

Corporate Speakers - 10 Ways to Help Build Your Career

Veteran comedy road-warrior Frank King successfully made the transition from club act, to college act, to corporate comedian. Frank graciously shares what he's learned over the years as part of Larry Weaver's exclusive ongoing series, "How to Be a Comedian".

Ten Things That Worked To Build My Corporate Comedy Biz

1. Joined the National Speakers Association (national and state)
2. Joined Meeting Professionals International
3. Created a web site with promo and video
4. Created an identical web site without any contact info, for bookers' clients
5. Offered to customize the show to the client, industry, or association
6. Offered to fly in day early to make sure I'm there for the show
7. Work with speakers bureaus and entertainment bookers
8. If the client is unhappy, gave some or all of the money back (excluding travel)
9. Helped other comics that I know and respect to get corporate work
10. Mailed, not emailed, all the bookers a promo piece and candy every quarter

Ten Things That Didn't Work to Build My Corporate Comedy Biz

1. Joined Kiwanis
2. Tried to make and sell audio tapes, VHS tapes, and finally DVDs
3. A Google Ad
4. Worked with a number of shady bookers and bureaus (call for a list)
5. A John Edwards impersonation (would have worked if he'd have won)
6. A Bill Clinton impersonation (would have worked if Hillary had won)
7. Last Comic Standing (turned down four times in row)
8. Comedy contests (won one in 1985 and haven't won one since)
9. Joined several Convention and Visitors Bureaus
10. Joined several Chambers of Commerce

Frank King is a corporate comedian, public speaker, and now a John McCain impersonator (seriously). He's done hundreds of shows for companies and associations, and can be reached at http://www.whitecollarcomedy.com

Corporate Entertainment Booking - 5 Steps to Simplify the Process

Over the past 20 years, I've had experience as an entertainment booking agent, performer, and purchaser of entertainment. Being on all three sides of the fence has given me a unique perspective on how to simplify the entertainment booking process. I've identified several ways to improve relationships between presenters, artists and agents, and summarized some ways to improve the process.

1. Offer Promotional Materials Online for Review
Event presenters get no shortage of mail. They are asking for more information online, presented in a consistent, easy-to-review fashion. Performers need to have press kits in PDF format, headshots, and video clips on their site. More importantly, the information needs to be quickly identifiable through simple, clear site navigation. Agencies need to create artist pages with consistent layouts and all of the information necessary to make an informed booking decision. At Larry Weaver Entertainment I've opted for a one-page layout for artists, although we do have a separate online video player page.

Click to Visit our Online Video Player

2. Return Requested Paperwork on Time
When presenters ask for a contract, invoice, or W-9 form, they want it quickly - not weeks (or months) later. Likewise, agents and artists want the paperwork executed and returned in a timely fashion. It's incumbent upon the agent or artist to have a CRM (customer relationship management) system in place that alerts them when to follow up with a Presenter. We've developed our own in-house computerized tracking system to get contracts out faster and make sure they're processed efficiently.

3. Provide Downloadable Show Promotion Resources
After the show is booked, Presenters need access to online materials to promote their shows. Artists and agents must offer full-color photographs that are camera-ready for print in brochures or for local media. Posters, press releases, and bios are also a nice touch.

4. Supply More Responsive Communication Channels
When issues arrive, Presenters want immediate contact with the agent or artist. Presenters and Agents should exchange cell phone numbers as well as the cell phone number and emergency contact information for every Artist. Make sure your Contact page has several methods for communication listed.

5. Deliver Professional Follow-Up
After the show, artists and agents want to know how they did. Presenters want a place to share their thoughts on the performance. Offer an Post-Show Review Form to allow Presenters to address any issues and leave a glowing review. Client satisfaction should be your top priority!

Presenters, Artists and Agents all want the same thing: a worry-free partnership that leads to a successful performance. Let's continue to work together to make each other's lives easier.

Got an idea to simplify the booking process? Please leave your thoughts in the comments section. We want to hear from you!

Guidelines for Corporate Comedy

As part of an ongoing series on "How to Be a Comedian", Larry Weaver brings exclusive insights from influential comedians, writers, and insiders from the world of comedy. Enjoy these "Guidelines for Corporate Comedy" from the First Lady of corporate comedy, Jan McInnis.

Five of Jan's Guidelines for Corporate Comedy

Be clean.
Just taking the F word out of a joke, doesn't make it clean. You need to have clean, funny material before you get booked. And that means you should be able to do a 45 - 60 minute show without even saying the word "crap." And the subject matter, even if it's clean, should try to stay away from sex and drugs.

Find out about the group.
Even if you don't plan to write jokes about them, and just want to do your boilerplate act (mistake in my opinion!), you should know your audience. If nothing else, it'll keep you out of trouble by not bashing gas companies at the WPMA meeting because that is the Western Petroleum Marketers Association, you know, the people who make their living selling gas. AND it'll give you ideas for marketing - like how about the Eastern Petroleum Marketers Association.

Tell them how to set the show.
You're not dealing with a comedy club owner who knows how to make comedy work, this is a meeting planner who's concerned with a thousand other details, like getting 500 people fed on time. They may not know that comedy shouldn't be going on while the waiters are serving the 5-course meal, or that a big dance floor moat between you and the audience kills the intimacy of the show. Heck, they may even have you performing behind a podium. You need to take charge and tell them how to set the room, when is the best time to bring you on (after dinner, before awards), etc.

Show 'em you've done this before.
Unlike comedy clubs, who want to make sure you've got the time if you say you can headline, companies are more concerned with making make sure you've done this for other companies - they don't want to be your test animal in the corporate market. So give them names and quotes from other companies for whom you've performed. If you're new to corporate shows, then start doing as many shows at whatever price that you can get, just to get those testimonials.

You don't always get to win.
This is a hard one for comics, because in the comedy club, we're paid to be funnier than the heckler. In the corporate market, the heckler may just be the drunk boss. And if he starts in on you, you need to goof lightly, and then let it go.

And your extra bonus guideline... It's not about you.
This is about these people and their event. They didn't choose to come to a comedy show, the entertainment was decided for them, and you were brought into their world. So running over your time, being a prima donna backstage, etc. . . are big no nos.

These are just a few of the many things you need to pay attention to in the corporate market. Some comics think the corporate market is too stuffy and they can't be themselves. And they might be right. The only really hard and fast rule of comedy is that you must be true to yourself. If you cuss a lot, then by all means do it in your act . . .you'll find your market and be a success. If you try to clean it up just to make a buck, then you won't think it's funny and your audience will agree. There are tons of different types of comedy avenues, from bar gigs to churches. Find the one that fits you first, and then work hard to become a star there.

Jan McInnis is a corporate comedian and comedy writer. She was featured in the Wall Street Journal as one of the most popular convention comedians, and she's done hundreds of shows for companies and associations. She can be reached at http://www.theworklady.com/

How to Record and Distribute Live Comedy

This is part two of Larry's revealing interview with Joel Haas, Comedy Director at XM Satellite Radio (read part one, How to Get Airplay on XM Radio Comedy). Joel shares his tips for getting the best quality comedy recording, and talks more about his new comedy distribution company, Hahaas Comedy.

You have personally recorded live comedy shows for names such as Gabriel Iglesias, Bobby Slayton, Mike Birbiglia, Louis C.K., Frank Caliendo, Kevin Nealon, Adam Ferrara and Jake Johannsen. What have you learned over the years in recording live shows that you can pass along as advice to others?

If you’re a recording engineer, get as much experience as you can. Record every show, big or small, paid or unpaid. I’ve managed to do a lifetime worth of recording and producing in just a few years time. I still learn new things every time I turn on my computer and mix a show! Today I can remix a recording from just a few months ago and get better sound. I’ve been growing this way for the last 4 or 5 years. It’s been a rather amazing journey and I have to thank XM for all the doors they have opened and the opportunities they have afforded me. With that said, I’ve earned everything I have today based on hard work, commitment, vision and focusing on a career instead of a family. My Mom’s not so happy with some of these decisions. She wants grand kids. Any single ladies out there? If any comedian would like advice or some direction with recording or producing, I’m an email or phone call away. I’ll give advice to anyone if it helps better the comedy world! I believe in comedy karma.

How far will you travel to record a live show?

I can record shows in any venue in the USA. I have plenty of top notch equipment for any size room, venue or theater. I usually use 8 crowd mics when I record in a club but I’ve got a stash of over 25 different mics. I’m based in Washington, DC but I’ve traveled all over the US to record and produce shows. I’ve manage to get an incredible amount of expensive and delicate equipment onto planes all by myself. I ache for days but the recordings last forever.

What is the ideal equipment you need to capture a live comedy performance?

There are plenty of adequate levels of equipment somebody could use if they are a recording engineer. As far as comedians recording their own shows, there is no perfect solution. If a headliner has at least one body to help them at all their shows, they could put together an ideal recording solution for a few grand that would capture quality sound.

I’ve been trying to put together a good sounding hand held recorder and lapel mic combination so I can send equipment to artists and they can very easily record their own shows. Hahaas would produce and distribute them at no charge. Unfortunately lapel mics always get a lot of excess noise from body movement. I have just recently found a reasonable solution but I’m still in testing mode.

Again I should stress that mixing and producing that audio can be just as important as the recordings. This is where many engineers are lacking. Besides all the shows I’ve mixed and produced outside of XM, this has been a big part of what I’ve done at XM for over 7 years.

Tell us a little about your company, Hahaas?

Hahaas is a stand-up comedy production and distribution company. We produce and distribute stand-up comedy recordings digitally and pay artists 66% of all income. These recordings are for sale at iTunes, CD Baby and other digital retail outlets. Since there are no physical CD’s to produce and our recordings live in the digital world, our costs are minimal. This allows Hahaas to pay artists more money than anyone else in the comedy industry...66% of all income from sale #1. We’re talking about $4.20 per sale from any $9.99 download on iTunes and $6.00 from sales on CD Baby. If you are big name artists will selling power, I’m more than happy to pay you even more.

I know a lot of artists are afraid to sign away the rights to their material and they should be! There are a lot of shady things going on in this business with the explosion of the internet and the digital world. Always read any contract or agreement you sign. Once you’ve signed away your rights, somebody other than you can sell, market and exploit your likeness and your work for free the rest of their existence. Hahaas is the exact opposite of this! Hahaas won't hold comedians to any long term deals and they don't have to sign away any rights. You do have to sign over rights but comics can walk away at any time, without any penalty, and all rights revert back to the artist. Hahaas will immediately work to remove their material from all sites selling it.

I’m willing to state on record that I am an awful businessman because I will rip up any artist contract at anytime. I will always do what any Hahaas artist wants me to do. I also have a few tricks up my sleeve that will benefit artists in new ways.

And you work with existing recordings, right - not just new or upcoming recordings?

Yes, comedians provide Hahaas with original recordings, old or new, in any format: CD, DAT, Minidisc, Pro Tools session, WAV files, DVD, Reel To Reel, etc. Hahaas handles all aspects of production and distribution: mixing, mastering, editing & producing, UPC & ISRC codes and digital distribution...all for free!

Hahaas will produce and distribute any number of shows or sets from any comedian if the master recordings sound good and are funny. We can have them in the digital pipeline and earning money in about 14 days on CD Baby. iTunes and other digital sites will take 4-8 weeks. Hahaas has all the benefits of a record label but without all the overhead expenses. We’re going to put that money in the artist’s pocket.

By the way, when Hahaas releases CD’s that an artist has released in the past, we always sweeten the sound and make any necessary editing. Send us that one track show and we’ll produce a fully tracked, edited and remixed show. We can make just about any recording sound better and the crowds sound bigger.

Is there any downside to the comedian?

Several…if you’re allergic to money, a bigger fan base and no risk contracts. Record label people may not like Hahaas or Hahaas artists because our business model is very different than theirs. I can’t say it enough; Hahaas is all about the comedians. I’m nothing without their support and trust and hopefully I can lead us all to the Promised Land… (AKA the Grammy’s and the bank!)

How can comedians learn more?

Visit www.hahaas.com to see what we’re all about. Email me directly at joel@hahaas.com with any questions or for more detailed information and an artist agreement.

If you made it this far, thank for spending the time to read my babble. As you can tell, I’m quite passionate about this comedy shit. Now visit Hahaas, buy a download and actually support a comic.

Thank for your time, Joel.

Thank you Larry Weaver for reaching out and helping me spread the word of Hahaas.

XM Radio Comedy - How to Get Airplay

Comedian Larry Weaver brings exclusive interviews with influential comedians, writers, and insiders from the world of comedy. This is part one of Larry's revealing interview with Joel Haas, Comedy Director at XM Satellite Radio. XM satellite radio currently offers five channels dedicated solely to comedy: 150 XM Comedy; 151 Laugh USA; 152 Extreme XM; 153 Laugh Attack; and 154 National Lampoon Comedy Radio.

Joel, how many CDs do you receive per week from comedians looking for airplay on XM Radio?

In a busy week, one or two dozen CD’s may cross my desk.

Do you listen to them all?

I’ve taken a listen to every CD that I’ve received. A lot of the time I wish I didn’t! If the quality is poor, it goes straight into my Crappy Sounding CD box. There are a lot of funny CD’s and good comics in this box I wish I could play but can’t even consider because of sound issues. If the audio is staged or filled with fake laughs it usually ends up in my Shitty Comedy Box. These are so awful and phony that they would play like America’s Funniest Home Videos. If I put this shit on the air, it would be like a baseball to the nuts of real comedians. I’m a firm believer that you have to prove yourself before you deserve national exposure, but there are exceptions. Bottom line, funny CD’s that sound good have a fantastic chance of getting into rotation.

What percentage of comedian CDs do you reject solely due to poor production quality?

I’d have to say at least 25 percent of all CD’s that cross my desk I straight out reject based on poor sound quality. Shitty recordings sound even shittier in the digital world of XM! Sometimes I honestly can’t understand what comedians are thinking when they send awful records to be considered for airplay. XM Comedy has several million listeners a week. Comics should only put their best foot forward. This is part of the reason I started recording and producing live standup comedy. It’s absolutely the reason I started my comedy production and distribution company, Hahaas Comedy. It shouldn’t be as hard as it is to get a good sounding, well produced recording of a live comedy show!

Most audio engineers are trained to record music. As a result, they tend to focus on the sound coming directly out of the microphone, and turn the crowd down during the performance. This can be disastrous for a comedy show. What do you recommend a comedian tells an audio engineer about recording a live comedy show?

If you can, find somebody with a track record with comedy recording and/or producing. Listen to their work. Make sure they record in stereo! You’d be amazed at how many CD’s are recorded in mono. A band hasn’t recorded in mono since black and white TV. How can any comedian settle for this? There was a Grammy nominated comedy CD in the last 3 or 4 years that was in mono. I’d never mention names of artists but all I can say is I’ve heard several stories of upset headliners who are on major labels.

If I was paying somebody to record my shows and cost wasn’t the issue, I’d want somebody with a Pro Tools setup that records onto a laptop. This would allow for as many crowd microphones as possible and the most flexibility with mixing, mastering and editing.

What is the most common mistake comedians make when recording a live show?

As important as the recording is, the mixing and mastering of the show can be equally important. Mistakes in any step of this process can degrade the quality of the sound and the flow of the performance. To do the recording right you do need to use multiple crowd microphones to record in stereo. The more mics you use, the bigger the crowd can sound but the more room for errors. I currently use 8 high quality microphones to capture the crowds. I started with 2 mics and I’ve used as many as 12. Talk about overkill! I could go on for hours on this subject but to keep it short, I’ll just mention that I can pop in a major label recording and point out the edits. I’ve trained myself to have “X-ray” hearing but artists should expect perfection from whoever records and produces their CD, especially the majors. That is what I believe in and that is what Hahaas tries to deliver….to all comics big or small.

For comedians out there with quality recordings, how can they get you a CD?

If comics would like to submit CD’s for XM airplay, send them to:
Joel Haas – Comedy Director XM Satellite Radio
1500 Eckington Place NE
Washington, DC 20017

In part two of our revealing interview with Joel Haas, Joel shares his tips for getting the best quality comedy recording, and talks more about his new comedy distribution company, Hahaas Comedy.

Becoming a Comedian - How to Write Comedy

My long-time friend and Selected Hilarity cohort Bryan Tucker flew into Chapel Hill this weekend for the 4th Annual UNC Comedy Festival. Bryan taught a class on “The Ins and Outs of Comedy Writing.”

Bryan's writing credits include The Chris Rock Show (Emmy Nomination), Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Mad TV, Chappelle’s Show, and Saturday Night Live, where he currently works. Joining Bryan on panel were The Daily Show writers and producers Rob Riggle, John Oliver, and Rory Albanese.

I helped Bryan put together the outline for the class, and I’ll share it for you here along with a few of my notes.

How to Become a Comedy Writer

• Find a Venue for Yourself - Find a place where your writing can be read or performed. Examples: a writing workshop, a theater, a comedy club, the internet, etc.
• Perform or Work with Other Performers - Test your work in front of an audience and find a group that suits your style.
• Move to LA, New York or, maybe, Chicago - LA has the most opportunity in TV and film. New York and Chicago have more places to develop and form a community.
• Find Your Niche - Whether it's a regular comedy club, improv theater, magazine or internet site, find a place where you fit in and have a network of people like you.
• Write Samples - Write sample scripts, bits and jokes for your favorite shows. Get a sample packet together for later use.
• Get an entry-level job (PA, intern, researcher) on a TV show - This is not always a direct path to getting hired as a writer, but is a great way to understand how things work.
• Above All: Be patient - Don't compare your success directly to the success of your peers.

Writing Samples You Will Need

• For sitcoms - A half hour spec script of a current, popular show. Usually 28-32 pages.
• For comedy/variety - A packet of ideas, sketches and jokes written specifically for that show. Usually 4-10 pages.

Panel Members Paths to Becoming a Comedian

Of the panel members, here is the path that each took to a career in TV comedy writing:

• Bryan Tucker - started as stand-up comedian, toured the U.S. with sketch/improv group Selected Hilarity, then moved to NYC to pursue stand up comedy and writing. His performing connections led to his first writing job at The Chris Rock Show.
• Rob Riggle - Took classes for seven years at Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) in New York City while serving in the U.S. marines. While at UCB, had many teachers that formed crucial connections at SNL, including Amy Poehler.
• John Oliver - Wrote comedy during college, honed stand-up skills, and made crucial connections at the Edinburgh Festival - including former Daily Show intern Demetri Martin.
• Rory Albanese - Started as production assistant at Daily Show and slowly worked his way up to Producer, thanks in part to a strong connection with Lewis Black. Continues to write and perform stand up comedy.

Things to Avoid When Trying to Land a Career in Comedy

Panel members minced no words about their disdain for pushy newcomers who try too hard to be funny. Their turn offs include:

• handing writers unsolicited scripts after first meeting them,
• becoming an intern or PA and immediately trying to pitch ideas your first week on the job, and
• standing outside of Comedy Central offices trying to “impress” the writers/producers as they come into work.

Key Takeaways

Networking. Networking. Networking. There’s no escaping this one in any line of work. You can have all the talent in the World, but you need to be connected to the right people.

One of the best ways to network, hone your writing skills, and eventually become a comedy writer is by becoming a performer, either through stand-up or improvisational comedy. So even if you never have the aspiration of being a performer, it's time to overcome your objections and start getting up on stage as early and often as possible.

Become a Comedian - How to Be a Stand Up Comedian

Christmas is just around the corner. And if you are someone you know is an aspiring stand-up comedian, head over to eBay and bid now (auction closed) on this one-of-a-kind book collection: How to Become a Comedian. These are 10 hard-to-find books that have helped me become a successful comedian and booking agent. You'll get:

Stand-Up Comedy: The Book

by Judy Carter This one is a must-have for any true comedian! You'll learn: how to turn your anxieties into a killer act, how to make your sense of humor pay off, and secrets from the stars of comedy!

How to be a Stand-Up Comic

by Richard Belzer Legendary comedian Richard Belzer promises that he can turn anyone into a stand-up comic. This very irreverent book offer lots of advice on: how to prepare a routine, how to handle hecklers, how to dress "in character", and everything else you need to know about comedy and being a comedian.

How to be a Working Comic

by Dave Schwensen Dave's book claims to offer more insiders' advice than any other manual. Indeed, almost every page has insightful advice from working comedians. You'll learn how to: get onstage experience, market your act to talent bookers, get on television, and much more.

The Book on Hosting: How Not to Suck as an Emcee

by Dan Rosenberg Since you'll very likely start your career out an an MC (opener), you'll need to play close attention to everything in this book. You'll learn the rules of hosting, discover the unwritten rules of stand-up, and you will get advice from tons of working comedians. Everyone performing comedy should particularly pay attention to rule #22: "Move the damn mike stand out of the way." I can't believe how many people I see on TV who still don't know this rule.

Zen and the Art of Stand-Up Comedy

by Jay Sankey In this engaging book, comic Jay Sankey explains not only how to write and perform stand-up comedy, but how to improve and perfect your work. This unique insider's look explores the finer points of stand-up comedy, including sources for ideas and writing the jokes; taking the stage, delivery and timing; dealing with nerves; breaking in new material; relating to the audience; marketing and self-promotion; and much more.

Plus, you'll get these hard-to-find books:

• The Comic Bible - Learn how to get cruise ship work, how to break into the college market, getting International work, and much more!

• True Story - Bill Maher's fictional, yet autobiographical story of five comedians building a career in stand-up comedy.

• Comedy USA Industry Guide - Super rare! Lest you think this information is dated, think again! The GOOD agents - I mean the ones you'd really aspire to have - are still at it. Many have the same address and phone number they did in 1993. Find out who represents the biggest names in comedy.

• American Comedy Awards - Another super-rare find from the 15th Annual Awards show. Like the Comedy USA Industry Guide, this book tells you the agent, manager, and publicist for the biggest names in comedy!

• How to Get a Job in TV Commercials - An insiders guide.

	10 Great Books in All! Bid Now on eBay!

What are you waiting for? You won't find another collection of books on how to become a comedian like this all in one place. If you're serious about becoming a stand-up comedian, or you know someone who is, place your bid now! (auction closed)